2.14 - Do's and Don'ts

Kerry and Palmer wrap up this module with a clear, practical guide to help you support your child’s emotional wellbeing through divorce. These do’s and don’ts are simple, powerful reminders for everyday parenting.

✅ Do’s – What Helps:

  • Name the grief out loud
  • “This feels like a big loss” helps your child feel seen and validates their emotions.

  • Check in regularly
  • Healing requires ongoing connection—not a one-time conversation.

  • Validate hard emotions
  • Say things like “It makes sense that you feel that way.” Validation doesn’t mean agreement—it means understanding.

  • Tend to your own emotional health
  • Your healing makes you more available to support theirs.

  • Look beneath behavior
  • Behavior is often a cry for help. Approach it with curiosity, not judgment.

❌ Don’ts – What to Avoid:

  • Don’t say “you’ll get used to it” or “everything’s fine”
  • These shut down emotions instead of helping process them.

  • Don’t assume silence means they’re okay
  • Many kids hide feelings to protect you. Keep gently checking in.

  • Don’t rush their grief
  • Their emotional timeline may move slower than yours—and that’s normal.

  • Don’t use logic to explain away feelings
  • Kids don’t need explanations—they need empathy and comfort.

  • Don’t ignore your own grief
  • Unprocessed emotions can leak into your parenting and model avoidance.

By practicing these do’s and don’ts consistently, you create an emotionally safe environment where your child can feel, heal, and grow.