In this section, Kerry and Palmer share three core principles and five practical strategies for helping kids feel secure while living in two homes—a reality that can be emotionally destabilizing if not handled with care.
💡 Core Principles:
- Consistency and security — Similar routines, rules, and even familiar items like bedding or toiletries across both homes reduce transition stress.
- Your emotional state matters — How you show up during transitions has a powerful impact. Calm, emotionally prepared parents help kids feel safe.
- Cooperation creates bridges — When possible, work with your co-parent to reduce conflict and create emotional continuity.
🛠️ Five Practical Strategies:
- Recognize the impact on your kids
- Make transitions easier
- Maintain consistent rules and structures
- Prevent “living out of a suitcase”
- Support identity integration
Kids crave normalcy—familiar routines, spontaneous fun, and the feeling of “home” in both places.
Use rituals like Sunday movie nights, comfort objects, transition journals, and simple surprises (like a bag of candy) to create warmth and predictability.
Even if your co-parent doesn’t mirror your routines, your consistency matters. It builds security and teaches life skills.
Give kids personal space and permanent storage in each home. Avoid sending messages through them or burdening them with forgotten items.
Help kids feel free to be their full selves in both homes. That emotional permission reduces conflict and helps them develop a strong, cohesive identity.
These small efforts make a big difference—helping your kids not just cope, but thrive.