Divorce itself is a major change—but what often hurts kids more are the collateral losses that come with it: missed events, lost routines, disrupted friendships, and feeling like a guest in their own life.
Kerry and Palmer outline how to prevent these extra, avoidable stressors:
- Preserve social connections – Prioritize playdates, birthday parties, and carpools. Don’t burden kids with adult logistics like who’s buying the gift.
- Maintain continuity – Keep up extracurriculars, therapy, and familiar routines from both sides of the family.
- Show up together when possible – Kids benefit emotionally when both parents attend events, regardless of custody schedules.
- Create emotional bridges – Let comfort items, gifts, or pets travel between homes without guilt or drama. If needed, create safe ways (like a keepsake box) for kids to manage these transitions.
- Celebrate both parents – Support your child in honoring Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays. If it’s too difficult, enlist help from a friend or relative.
- Leverage technology – Use FaceTime or video calls to include the other parent in meaningful moments. It’s not always easy for adults—but it’s deeply meaningful for kids.