✅ Do’s for Supporting Kids in Two Homes
- Do Create Consistent Routines: Match bedtimes, mealtimes, rules, and daily schedules across both homes to provide stability.
- Do Use Transition Rituals: Develop gentle, predictable routines (e.g., pizza and movie night, a special handshake) to ease the emotional weight of switching homes.
- Do Keep Essential Items in Both Homes: Stock toiletries, clothes, and comfort objects in both places so your child doesn’t feel like a guest or have to live out of a suitcase.
- Do Prioritize Emotional Availability: Prepare yourself emotionally before transition times so you can greet your child with empathy, calm, and validation.
- Do Encourage Strong Bonds with Both Parents: Facilitate celebrations, FaceTime check-ins, and support during special moments, even when it’s not your parenting time.
🚫 5 Don’ts That Undermine Mental Health
- Don’t Make Kids Choose or Take Sides: Avoid snide comments, comparisons, or guilt trips about what happens at the other home.
- Don’t Weaponize Stuff: Never restrict items like gifts or clothes from moving between homes to make a point or control your co-parent.
- Don’t Undermine Routines or Discipline: Don’t abandon rules just to be the “fun parent”—kids still need structure to thrive.
- Don’t Turn Transitions Into Teaching Moments: Avoid discipline or serious conversations right after hand-offs; focus on connection and emotional safety first.
- Don’t Let Adult Conflict Cause Collateral Damage: Don’t block access to friends, pets, or familiar activities just because you and your co-parent aren’t getting along.
"The goal isn't to create identical homes, but to build bridges between them."- Dr. Jennifer McIntosh, Family Court Review
Remember:
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, children adapt best when parents focus on creating emotional safety between homes.